Forget strip clubs: topless coffee shops are all the rage in New England these days. Or, they will be, once one opens up in Maine. The tiny town of Vassalboro will soon be home to the Hooters of java—unless riled-up residents succeed in dashing Donald Crabtree's dreams of serving hot beverages alongside hot bods. The cafe would be open from 6am—not necessarily a time normally associated with breasts—to 6pm, which seem like less than ideal hours for ogling half-naked folks. In the interest of fairness, there will be both male and female servers sans shirts (though not sans pants), and Crabtree says workers will be of "a variety of sizes." The town's planning board could find no law against topless coffee-serving (which a board member diplomatically called "different uniforms"), though the danger of spilling on oneself is dramatically increased when you're protected by a thick layer of... nothing.